Black and White

My biggest frustration as an Aspie comes from the fact that the world is black and white. This is such a simple concept to me: there is right or wrong, good or bad, truth or lies. Yet most of the world I live in is gray! People never say what they mean. There are subtleties and vagueness. Half truths and unclear instructions.

Please for the love of God, just say what you really mean! And if you refuse to communicate clearly, do NOT get upset with me because I don’t have my Dick Tracy NT decoder ring.
What is real frustrating is when I see this happening to my 8 year old Aspie. He asks for a snack and his mother tells him we are having dinner soon. He didn’t ask about dinner, he asked about a snack. Just tell him no. Otherwise you are setting him up for a meltdown due to frustration. Just answer his question as he asked it. I see this happening all the time; at school his teacher will say ‘don’t you think you should do your math work’? Then the teacher gets upset when he says ‘no I am going to keep coloring’. The teacher, thinking my son is being rude, then tells my little Aspie in a stern voice ‘no you should have finished coloring earlier. Put that away right now and do your math! ‘ Well now my son has a melt down. You ASKED him a question, and he anwered, and then you yelled at him for his answer. You confused him, and you embarrassed him, and and you frustrated him. Instant melt down. More amazing the teacher blames my son when in truth she needs to learn to communicate!!

At the same time I have learned people listen in gray as well. I say ‘what’s for dinner’? I get back ‘I planed steaks but we can have chicken or we can order a pizza’. I just want to know what’s for dinner, and you are flooding my brain. I say ‘text me when you arrive at work’ instead you call me at lunch and wonder why I am mad (maybe because I’ve been worried sick you never made it to work!) I could give a million more examples however my point is this: I live in a black and white world so don’t get mad at me when I can’t do gray if you refuse to do black and white.

As an Aspie, and I am always expected to fit into your world and your rules. All while you make yourself feel better by promoting “awareness” . True awareness comes when you try to be aware of how I think and you try to fit into MY world.

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